Waiting on the world to change

Passion...valued in relationships, noble causes, professions. Passion is deep, intrinsic motivation. I think of passion as that itchy, excited feeling when I know I'm fired up about something and I have a vision for it's accomplishment and positive value in other's lives.

How can passion work against you? My mom says that passion can also mean temper and according to it's definition it can mean rage. It's those moments when I say something in a tone that too clearly conveys my lack of patience and quickness to jump to conclusions. "Be slow to anger," the Bible says. I often let my passionate nature prevent me from counting to ten and saying something I won't regret.

Being passionate about people means you get involved in their lives and you take a vested interest. We are all God's people, little walking around messes and that means you invest in the good and the bad. When the bad surfaces I tend to react passionately, as if my world has collapsed, but once the shock and self-induced drama wear off I find a way to look sensibly and pragmatically at what comes next. I feel productive again and in control.

I have a vision for the big picture and a passion for big ideas, but unfortunately the details get lost or an idea isn't fully executed because the hugeness of it's impact overwhelms me actually doing it.

I am a passionate person and I want to surround myself with other visionaries, albeit grounded ones. I don't want to lose my passion. In fact part of the reason I knew I needed a break from teaching was that I felt I was losing it. I felt diluted and complacent. I don't want to lose my passion, but I do want to evaluate the bits that hold me back, the pieces that impede and inhibit passion becoming action and affecting change. One positive aspect of passion is that it breeds determination and anyone will tell you I am determined about self-evaluation and learning from challenge.

Living in Belfast for the past five months has taught me more than I will ever fully recognize but I think it has also taught me to understand and use my passionate nature. As a teacher I understand more the value of distance. Remembering always to be personally professional, investing in and loving the children with all I have while recognizing that they are children each day to be met where they are while not losing sight of overarching long-term growth, and mostly when problems arise to look at them from a distance with practical support and unpack them to deal more effectively. The ultimate goal is to be an effective teacher in the time I have to facilitate learning, focusing on that the best thing I can do is focus on my students.

I've had to learn how to take my ideas, break them down into manageable pieces, and put them into action because I only have a limited amount of time to make them reality and no one else is going to do it, because they can't fully appreciate my vision until they see it alive. I've learned the value of support and seeking out resources with the start of our "Girls Allowed" club and the continuation of my hopes for Girls Brigade Bible study, Youth Alpha, developing the concept of peace in action in the afterschools, and relational ministry in the primary (elementary) schools. Even forming relationships in the places I serve, getting your hands dirty and action will always dominate any impressive words, even if it means doing dishes or picking up trash.

Reacting to change...my boat has been tossed a few times this year. Again my wise mother says that I'm worst off when something just happens. I know that there were times when I let those moments get the best of me, believing they were my only reality, but God has reminded me of my vision for the big picture. It's all part of why I am here this year. So I can go home another way, completely changed because I've seen God at work. Not in a hugely passionate sense, but in a hands and feet, put your strength behind your words kind of way. If you believe that it's true- go and act like it, Elijah says in the Bible. Well if you really are passionate, I hear God whisper, go and make a difference. Stop talking- we have work to do.

So it is with me that I've learned that my words are feeble and maybe the biggest reason God made me passionate is so I could be teacher. Putting into practical action my passion for teacher's rights, equal education, rights of children with learning differences, creative and authentic education and a passionate love for kids that isn't just smoke and mirrors but now I feel has teeth behind it and is ready to get to work. And maybe God brought me to Belfast so I could learn what I really think about what it means to put action behind my passion, fleshing out what I believe about things into Christian witness that speaks from my life.

"So this is what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life- your sleeping, eating, going-to-work and walking around life- and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you. I'm speaking out of deep gratitude for all God has given me..." (Romans 12 The Message)

Christian Peace Witness

this is how I see you

On December 28th Brian came to visit Belfast and maybe he wanted to see me as well. Since he arrived we've been on a whirlwind tour of Northern Ireland, and a bit of the Republic. My last visitor from home was my dad in October and my next visitor will probably be my mom in March. Having someone visit from home served as a personality barometer or looking glass even. The changes that have slowly molded my life in Belfast were reflected in the familiarity. The separation from my daily routine revealed again the power of this year on my life, reminded me not to take any of the moments left or spent for granted, and challenged me to look forward at how God is preparing my heart for the life I'll return to in the summer. So I'm at the turning point, almost five months finished and five months to go. At the turning point I got to be a tourist and have a little fun on vacation, I had a chance to reflect on the impact this year out has already had on my life, and I had the chance to relish the expectation of what the year will bring. I also got to play tour guide and feel how Belfast has grown in my heart as a city of great beauty, history, and character. Here is a bit of what we saw.

St.Anne's Cathedral


"The Fish" each scale depicts a portion of Belfast's history and the sculpture itself embodies the connection with the sea and shipbuilding.


The Albert Memorial clock, presented by Queen Victoria to honour her husband Prince Albert. It leans, not just in the picture, but in real life and engineers even consulted folks in Pisa to get advice on how to help the clock survive.


The Girl on the Ring symbolizes peace, which is everything in Belfast according to my roommate Alison.


On to Downpatrick on Saturday where we visited the St.Patrick Centre and Brian modeled period clothing from early Irish history.


I think Dr.Sherrard would be proud that I decoded Roman numerals and used an abacus to beat Brian in some math problems.

Other than all the fun we had the St.Patrick Centre used Patrick's confession to lead you through his life from his time in slavery when he prayed at least 100 times a day, through his travels, up to his legacy and some of the earliest monks who recorded the oral tradition of Patrick's miracles. We also visited the place where St.Patrick is said to be buried.




That night when we got home, Libby noticed that the radiator was no longer producing heat. We checked the oil and it barely registered on the stick. Slowly our hot water disappeared too and we spent the next few days taking cold showers, cuddled up in many blankets, and overusing the kettle for cups of tea or hot water bottles. We had a space heater that we put in the living room, but the wind still whipped through the house even blowing plastic bags around in the living room. So who said that the Northern Ireland YAV's don't have to struggle every now and then too? But it didn't stop us from enjoying the New Year. We even stayed up to watch the ball drop in New York and we discovered that American football does play in Northern Ireland. It just comes on at 3 am!


On Tuesday we took a bus along the Coastal Road to the Giant's Causeway. We walked along the top ridge, down the Shepherd's steps and past a mudslide to get to the famous hexagonal volcanic stones. That night we got to attend a Scottish music club meeting with Bob from Whitehouse. Bob taught me that Scottish music is like a square with distinct corners and turns, while Irish music is more like a spiral with no end and no distinction between one theme and the next. They even played "Belle of Belfast City" which has become our house favorite.

On Wednesday and Thursday the entire crew of 6 girls and Brian took a bus to Dublin. In our first few minutes off the bus I managed to find a statue of Poseidon, complete with his trusty trident for all my Tri Delta friends out there! Unfortunately I was not able to climb the height of the building and therefore will probably not be pictured in next month's Trident magazine.



At Trinity College we saw the Book of Kells which is renowned as the most beautiful book in the world, containing copies of the gospels from 800 b.c. The Long Room in the Trinity College Library was also part of the tour. After all the shelves were filled so quickly, the architects quickly made plans to expand the ceiling and add another level. The extensive, precious volumes are humbling as well as the many busts lining the corridor.

Since Alison had studied in Dublin, she acted as our tour guide a bit and walked us through some of the famous areas like Grafton Street and the Temple Bar area.






As we walked back to the hotel, past the famous bridges of Dublin, I noticed this sign with the Irish for Belfast on it. It means the "mouth of the river Farset" which is where Belfast was established.


Libby, Brian and I started early on Thursday to tour the National Museum of History where we saw Ireland's extensive gold exhibit. It turns out that the bogs effectively preserve gold, fabric, and other materials. The best part is that most of the discoveries were made by potato farmers or by people cutting turf. We met the rest of the group at St.Stephen's Green where we saw statues of Wolfe Tone and Oscar Wilde.


"Nothing that is worth learning can be taught." -Oscar Wilde


There were even palm trees in the park! I think I've shared with at least a handful of people the story of how the Civil War began in South Carolina, but again I was reminded how I love to see a third grader's eyes light up when they hear the story of the palmetto tree.


We passed Christ's Church Cathedral...


And then were on to the Guinness Storehouse where we learned that massive amounts of barley, hops, water and technology are used in Dublin daily to produce one of the world's most popular brews. I was fascinated that Arthur Guinness so much believed in his product that he signed a 9,000 year lease on the building and the nearby water source. I had my first pint of Guinness in the bar on the seventh floor which overlooks the city of Dublin in fantastic panoramic views.


Friday we toured City Hall. We saw where Belfast City Council meets and sat in seats representing almost every spectrum of the political rainbow here. Brian even sat in the Lord Mayor's chair!


We spent the afternoon shopping before we headed off to dinner with Liz and her family. Brian got to experience a carvery, which outdoes the Southern Sunday buffet by a mile. More than once on this trip has he been in awe of how much food is consumed in this country, but when it came time for dessert he did finish his tiramisu and have a double espresso too! It was something else to add to his list of firsts and accomplishments.

Yesterday we enjoyed a serious walk from my house to the Belfast Castle, who knows how far exactly, but with a bit of sun it was a really enjoyable walk. We ended our day in City Centre with some shopping and then the Odyssey for a movie.

So tomorrow I start back to work at the afterschools and Girls Brigade. Today three youth from my Alpha group joined the church and we shared in the first communion of the New Year. As things pick back up and the time continues to fly in I am continually grateful for the blessings God has given me this year and in 2006. I look forward to the girls youth club starting at the Trust, getting back into the primary schools locally, and continuing to push myself in the activities I'm blessed to be involved in each week. Thank you for your prayers and support. Happy New Year to you and your family!